Jan 29 2015

Quick Follow Up ~

So this post isn’t going to be nearly as edited or proofread as normal. I apologize for that. Usually I spend 2-3 hours writing a post then another 1-2 hours editing. I wanted to post a quick follow up to yesterday’s post: The Last Coming Out, and Moving Forward. If you haven’t ready that post please do. Otherwise this post will have no context. I feel like you all should have an update given the emotion and general weight in that post. This post has to be quick because it’s past 10AM already which is my bed time. I got my last W-2 so I stayed up late doing my family’s taxes. Oh my, so weird to say my family… I guess Me + My Husband = A Family, right? Oh my, I digress.

Let me just say this: work was very stressful… But it had very little to do with the situation it was mostly work stress. I consider that…. VICTORY!


We all deserve victories on a regular basis! I felt like today was mine. Great things happened today, but there was stress. When I arrived at work everyone treated me a little distantly and didn’t really engage me like they normally do. I immediately thought to myself uh-oh. I tried to act as normal as possible while I pulled up my email and looked for the meeting recap for people. My boss always sends out an e-mail recapping the meeting into bullet points. That recap didn’t mention me or my situation. I scoured my e-mail for anything else mentioning me or my situation (I usually get 200-300 emails between leaving work and getting to work the next day) there was nothing. I started wondering what was going on. I acted as “normal” as possible, which of course meant boy-mode. Eventually everyone relaxed and started treating me normally.

I spoke to my lead tech to see if he knew anything and he said “Oh, an e-mail went out you didn’t see it?” I was like… “noooo….??” (with read that out loud, that’s exactly how I said it.) Apparently, by boss sent an e-mail to everyone, one by one, except me, which contained a letter about my situation and the company’s discrimination policy. The letter was from our HR department and very well written. The one thing I would have changed said “if you have any questions contact HR not Jo.” I have no problem answering questions, in fact, I welcome it. Because it allows people to be open with concerns and talk to me about something. Nobody treated me poorly, in fact the situation wasn’t even mentioned the whole time I was at work except for the one conversation I had with my lead.

At the same time it was an extremely busy day at work. It was one of those days where you can hardly breathe. We were getting ready to turn on a device with 300+ connections.. (which meant plugging all the connections in) and I noticed there were too many cables for this to be logical. I spoke to my lead and we stopped the normal process and started an investigation. We spent four hours investigating the problem and finally figured out what had happened. It was very frustrating to find the problem. But being patient, perceptive, and persistent helped us find the problem.


Duplicate cables had been run but they had been run to two different places. Only half the cables were correct. We began to figure piece together the scope of the problem. Of the 300+ connections, about 155 would have potentially failed if we had not found this issue when we did. As we were auditing we found about 50% were actually effected. 78 does not seem like a large number but it is quite an issue. We documented the issue and the potential connections effected and handed the issue off to Day Shift. If we had not noticed this and Day Shift had allowed the device to be turned on there would be at least 24 hours of debugging after the fact. We saved a bunch of time but it was someone else’s error that caused us to lose a great deal of time. I proved, in a way that I am valuable to the team.

Today was a lot of work, but it was very worthwhile. I feel like today was a huge win.

Another note: while I was at work today I naturally shifted into girl-mode for the first time. Until recently I have had to think my way back into girl mode. However, at work today I thought of myself as a girl without spending time thinking of myself as a girl. That was a HUGE step. A huge step I did not expect to happen for months at work.

Also, I felt really comfortable at work once I realized what had all happened. The letter was amazingly well written by HR.HR has seen this issue before. They reacted to it very well! Change is coming. Today I have ordered my first “girly, public” thing. I have lip gloss coming. As soon as I get it, I intend on using them. Now that I’m out at work. All bets are off! Let the change begin! (First Hormone Replacement Therapy appointment in almost exactly a week!)

CHANGE! If you wanted me to stay the same… it’s all too late! Change is always possible. For me, and for you.


About the author


I’ve never been good at writing about myself. I’ve never been good at ‘talking up my strengths’ but at least I should try…

I am a 30 year old (gasp), woman. To me, it is just that simple. My life is slowly coming together into a form where I can be proud to call it my life.

Who am I? I’m a strong, loving woman that was assigned male at birth and is finally correcting that egregious error by biology. For most women if they have an urge like wearing a sundress, they just do it. For my first 29 years on this planet, that wasn’t a possibility.

I write to heal, then publish to inform. I hope my journey can make the journeys of people that come after me just a little less painful.

I also have a ‘day job’ as a Data Center Technician. I do an incredibly physical job lifting fixing and moving servers. I daily, walk into and then maintain ‘the cloud.’ Servers are still quite a bit larger and heavier than your desktop at home. So much so that I am the only woman on my team of 20 and one of 5 in the entire building of about 75. Technology is without a doubt a male dominated industry. Which makes me quite sad.

I wish I could better express who I am. I don’t feel like I’ve done justice to my history, my life, and my story, but for now, this will have to do. To me the most beautiful thing in the world is understanding and empathy. If we can have only one thing for each other person on this planet, I choose empathy.


1 ping

Skip to comment form

  1. Crisan Manchac

    I’m so glad everything went so smooth (except the work thing that you were able to fix) and that things are less stressful thats awesome!

  2. Dorothy Browning

    YAAYYYY? Ditto Crisan’s remarks. I had been wondering how it went. Progress is being made. 🙂

  3. Stacia

    I’m so glad for you that the day went smoothly, gender-wise! Yay! And that you showed your value to your work team. You must be so relieved.

  4. Mary Ann

    Glad to see things move along. It reminds me of the David Bowie song, “time to face the strain ch-ch-changes”.

  1. The Last Coming Out, and Moving Forward | UberPocky

    […] What happened? Find out HERE! […]

Leave a Reply