Sneak Attack by Depression and Anger

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4 Responses

  1. OK, so the tears are here too for what you have been/are going through. I don’t know how many times I’ve seen Dani or Gary sitting on your Mom’s bed in deep discussion (or in some cases her listening to their rants about something that’s bothering them. Dani has also used me as a sounding board and I always feel honored that she feels like she can. You don’t have to be articulate about what you’re feeling when you are trying to work out your feelings/emotions verbally in the presence of someone else. Keep working at verbalizing, Jo. I imagine Adam, who seems pretty sensitive to your changes/moods is more than willing to listen. Love you to the moon and back.
    Grandma

  2. Marcy says:

    Oh Sweetie,
    I am in tears too. So many thoughts. One, I wondered if something was up and if it was more than tired but wasn’t sure and I don’t want to make problems by poking if there isn’t one there. I am so glad you decided to come anyway to spend time with us. You are right, you were better of with your parents. Things may be good now for us but they weren’t during the time you were growing up. It is nature AND nurture and both have contributed. You don’t need to break either one of them. You will continue to be nurtured and you will continue to grow, you just have a lot more people nurturing you now. You have many families, and several mom’s and I don’t see how that could be a bad thing. Ask anyone who knows me well and they will tell you that I process by myself when I am going through tough times…this in itself has contributed to depression. If in my 40’s I can recognize this and work on changing it, so can you. You don’t have to go through life alone with so many people who love you. Maybe I shouldn’t go on and on in such a public way. Just one last thing. Yes, you were a baby, a little boy, a teen boy and you are becoming a “beautiful, strong, powerful, adult, woman…” but may I also add BRAVE. When you first reconnected with me you assured me that I made the right decision in placing you for adoption. Now it seems like I am convinced of that and you aren’t. It was absolutely the right decision and we can talk about why I believe that now in detail if you need or want to. I love you… all of you, your nature side and the nurture side. They are both you and nothing needs to be “broken”, just needs to be grown and developed, like we all grow and develop. I hope some of this made sense. I love you.

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