Oct 04 2015

Making the Decision; A Year Goes by Quickly.

A year ago, yesterday, and today I made one of the hardest decisions I made in my life. (It was a decision I came to overnight)

After one of the biggest collapses of my life, I made the impossible happen. I decided I would transition and the process that would change my gender, and life forever.

In retrospect, greatly effecting your life in positive ways is only a couple of steps I will detail those for you now.

1. Without the influence of emotion, hormones, or external parties come to a decision in regards to what you wish to change. (This is, of course, impossible)

2. Inform those around you of the decision and receive blanket acceptance. (This is, of course, impossible)

3. Chart a course though this decision and see an end result. It is not abnormal to see an end result without seeing the full path to it, just chart as far forward as possible. (This is, of course, impossible)

4. Begin on that path with resolve and confidence. If you doubt yourself others will doubt you as well. (This is, of course, impossible)

5. If people try to knock you off that path, decide if they need to remain in your life and require more convincing or if they are no longer needed. (This is, of course, impossible)

6. See this path though to conclusion. (This is, of course, impossible)

I’m still battling with 5 & 6.

But now. I’m going to Milliways (The Restaurant at the End of the Universe) for lunch. The link is an excerpt from the radio series of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams.


About the author


I’ve never been good at writing about myself. I’ve never been good at ‘talking up my strengths’ but at least I should try…

I am a 30 year old (gasp), woman. To me, it is just that simple. My life is slowly coming together into a form where I can be proud to call it my life.

Who am I? I’m a strong, loving woman that was assigned male at birth and is finally correcting that egregious error by biology. For most women if they have an urge like wearing a sundress, they just do it. For my first 29 years on this planet, that wasn’t a possibility.

I write to heal, then publish to inform. I hope my journey can make the journeys of people that come after me just a little less painful.

I also have a ‘day job’ as a Data Center Technician. I do an incredibly physical job lifting fixing and moving servers. I daily, walk into and then maintain ‘the cloud.’ Servers are still quite a bit larger and heavier than your desktop at home. So much so that I am the only woman on my team of 20 and one of 5 in the entire building of about 75. Technology is without a doubt a male dominated industry. Which makes me quite sad.

I wish I could better express who I am. I don’t feel like I’ve done justice to my history, my life, and my story, but for now, this will have to do. To me the most beautiful thing in the world is understanding and empathy. If we can have only one thing for each other person on this planet, I choose empathy.

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